Quarantine and (Sports) Chill

You really got around to reading this sports blog? You should probably spend this time researching how you could get $1,200 from the federal government. You care too much about sports if this is where you are allocating your finite time. Read into getting that $1,200 from Uncle Sam, and then come back here as we are finding the sports fix during the global pandemic. Did I just get you $1,200 from Uncle Sam? You’re welcome. (To be honest if you need help getting this payment comment and I’ll reach out it’s not difficult).

If grad school is anything like under grad, I am going to spend time procrastinating from my real responsibilities by reading about sports. Yes, I am that odd ball that would watch Moneyball with Brad Pitt for the third time compared to watching episode 168 of The Office.

              You are stuck in your seven hundred square foot apartment to eat, sleep, work, and use the restroom. You need time to relax as well as do all those things. What is your butter zone? For most of us, as long as we can remember, we enjoyed watching sports. Waking up before school not to watch Zoboomafoo (rest in peace buddy), but to catch the top ten plays from the day before. There is something great about a sports fairy tale told from the television screen. Wipe those tears off your face, I got you buddy. Here are my top three sports movies that can be streamed from the comfort of your couch.

3) 7 Days in Utopia (Prime & Netflix)

              Not every fairy tale is based on a true story. This one is no exception, it’s a helluva movie. Too bad it never happened. First, the main actor, Lucas Black, has a great name. We found out earlier this month that our favorite golf tournament, during the most beautiful time of year, with our favorite golfers, has been postponed. Yes, I have watched the USGA’s YouTube specials, Tiger Woods: Perfection at Pebble and our hometown guy Spieth’s Northwest Conquest. Two of the most dominant performers at the masters in recent history (if you even think about disrespecting Spieth, pound sand you 25 handicap). Those short documentaries heal the wound from the postponed Masters tournament, no doubt. What about my golf fix? Almost every course is shut down because the government decided to run the working man’s business for them. I want to get back out there and swing the sticks. I want to get back out there and mentally battle against the course, and win. I hear you guy. There is nothing that will heal the wound. I got the grad school fix, jungle juice. A recipe that includes a corny storyline, a touch of romance, and before you can say Everclear you realize you are watching one of the most underrated golf movies in recent years. It’s no Tin Cup, or Happy Gilmore. Even if you don’t know what a four iron is, you have seen both those movies. Seven Days in Utopia is one of the more underrated golf films to date. You’re Welcome.

2) SpaceJam (Netflix)

              If grad school is a reflection of undergrad, we will all have that one friend that will wear his MJ Space Jam jersey to every house party there is. Saturday night fire at the house? Wearing the jersey with the long sleeve underneath. Out at the bars after a conference football game dub? He’s still wearing the jersey. Unfortunately for those of us that think this guy is a clown, we also have this unspoken rule that wearing the Space Jam jersey at any time is ok. Do we like the guy? Hell no. Do we like the jersey, and the movie that it originated from? Yessir. There is something about when that movie was released (1996) and how that related to our childhood. If you are at the age of year one or year two of grad school, this was the butter zone between dreaming to be a pro athlete and watching Looney Toons. Even if the movie was released before some of us were born, the movie still deemed itself relevant when we knew who MJ was and who the og Bugs Bunny was. Good work to Disney and the producers in the creation of this movie because I will never get sick and tired of the film. In a time where the NBA literally shut down the season mid-game, which gave fans another great courtside reaction from Mark Cuban, we all need a little basketball in our lives again. Yesterday morning Karl-Anthony Towns posted a video on Twitter addressing his parents and their war with COVID-19. I would argue that the sport that took the biggest hit from a financial and relevance standpoint is basketball. Bugs Bunny, make a dunk highlight film for me. Hey LeBron, if you treat Space Jam 2 the same way you treated Taco Tuesday, take something that we all love before you came around and just cheek your way into the picture, you will have no fans by the time you retire. You have been warned.

1) Miracle on Ice (Disney+ & Netflix)

              Unfortunately, we are in a war. This war is not as apparent as traditional war. In this war, no one is the enemy due to the fact the enemy has no face. The enemy only has two things in common with us humans. It exists, and it has a name. Kind of like the communists in the 80’s. I will not use this platform to allow myself to deliver a piss poor explanation of the history of communism during the 1980s. I just won’t do it and honestly, I am too lazy to study it. If I were in the United States during the ‘80s, I doubt I would have a full grasp on the world and all the conflicts that arose right in front of me. I would know two things. That communism exists, and the USSR was the face of communism. With everything that is going on in the world, it is evident we must unite and do what is right for the collective whole in comparison what feels right for us individually. As a state, country, and world we must know that we were made for this moment. There is no greater test of one’s character when stuff hits the fan. When the world is rotating on the axis per usual and all is going according to plan, it is easy to confuse a wise man from a faux man. The boys are separated from the men when the guns are going off and the bombs are bursting in air. This is a crappy situation we ALL are in. Luckily, You Were Made for This. If you need a kick in the butt even after this rah-rah paragraph, watch Miracle on Ice. “The name on the front is a helluva lot more important than the name on the back. Get that through your head. Again.”

Categories: Entertainment

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